Cheers to 40 Years

Cheers to 40 years! That’s 40 years since my high school graduation. The above picture was from graduation night.

Hard to believe its been 40 years. If I said I was gung ho to attend my 40 year reunion I would be lying. Even the day before leaving I thought, if they told me it was cancelled, I would be okay with staying home.

But, I got on that plane AND I’m so glad I did.

The night was easy. Well, almost easy. It started out quite interesting.

I had barely arrived and a woman, who seemed to be on a mission, came right up to me. She said, “I need to talk to you. Back in middle school, you got on the bus one day, pointed your finger at me and said something mean to me. And then you kept moving to your seat! That made me feel bad.”

Those who I have shared the story with have asked, “how on Earth did you respond to that?”

Here’s how I responded:

Without skipping a beat, I reached over, held her and said “let me give you a hug. I’m sorry I said that to you.”

She exhaled in my arms and responded with, “that is just what I needed to hear.”

The truth is, it was genuine and it was truthful and she could feel it.

I don’t remember the incident, but what I do know is I am no longer that teenager. I no longer have that edge, no longer carry the anger, no longer carry the burden of trying to be something and someone I’m not.

That teenager was wounded and trying-to find her way. That teenager was in full protection mode of herself, of her heart. That was the wounded little me coming out, making me a big me.

Although power was showing up on the outside, on the inside were layers of struggle and I was hurting. I never felt like I fit in, cried on many occasions to go away to a private school.

I now know a new school would not have fixed that and most likely would have made it worse. “Wherever I go, here I am.”

Not long ago, being told a story like that about myself would have taken me down. I would have replayed the scenario over and over and over. But not now. I made amends with myself and I helped my friend to release it from her body.

I have grown, I have evolved.

Spreading Love is my love language.

I don’t feel tangled up inside.

I don’t need to be right.

I don’t engage in power struggle.

I’m just me.

And just me feels pretty darn good.

Years of Jin Shin Jyutsu have softened those edges. That twinge of anger has transformed to harmony.

BE no Attitude has helped me to be comfortable being me.

 As she said, “we hugged it out.”

Attending my 40th High School Reunion gave me deep appreciation for the community I grew up in. I have been riding the wave of abundant gratitude ever since.

XOXO~beth